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2.15.2008   


Self-Love
Delve Beyond the Concept to Achieve Lasting Results

by Charly Emery

self love Valentine's Day arrived with its usual array of red hearts, balloons, chocolate assortments and teddy bears encouraging us to bestow gifts upon those close to us as a way to express our love. Before the 14th of February is over, numerous people will have placed an extraordinary emphasis on how they spent their Valentine's Day. Gifts or no gifts, the real allure behind the holiday of love is just that... Love.

Whether it's the potential for love reflected in a celebratory dinner date, or the cultivation of love in an established relationship, the feeling of someone else's affinity toward us satisfies the innate yearning we have to feel love, but not forever. We can fulfill the desire temporarily when we experience another person's interest and affection (despite the commercialized expectations of Valentine's Day). However, finding love within you is the best way to ensure healthy relationships and long-term happiness. Self-love gives us the greatest potential for attracting and enjoying fulfilling relationships of all kinds, which is why it's so important to realize it. Although the concept is well represented, until you fully grasp the meaning of self-love, you may not be able to apply it to your life for optimum results.

Self-love first and foremost is caring enough about you to commit to fulfilling your dreams, your desires and your aspirations as much as possible. If as a soul you have a purpose which will enhance your life, self-love is the human emotion which will inevitably keep you committed on your path to achieving it.

The power of self-love requires self-awareness. When you begin a romantic relationship with someone, you also begin to find out who they are in the most basic ways by observing their behavior. In your life you have a continuous flow of information you can tap into which provides you with greater self-awareness. Have you ever found yourself in an interview unable to easily answer a rather simple question about you? When it happens, most people are shocked at their own puzzlement.

best friends From your experiences with friends in grade school to where you've chosen to live, your choices, results and experiences are embedded with personal data for you to use to enhance your success and sense of fulfillment. The experiences you have are supposed to help you define who you are as well as whom you'd like to become. Over time as a result of the foods you taste, you become aware of what you prefer to eat, are willing to eat and absolutely will not entertain consuming. You have the same ability to extract other kinds of vital information relative to understanding yourself better, which will direct you to the best working environment, love interest and friendships.

A self-loving person commits to using the knowledge gained about self to direct his or her choices. The idea is to make choices that yield results aligned with the greatest fulfillment. The act of being true to oneself creates a feeling of love from within. Once you begin to understand who you are, and identify what you want, you can choose to accept who you are.

Maybe you'd like to be extremely organized when you're actually the opposite. Accepting yourself gives you the ability to become more organized. If you can't accept how disorganized you are, how can you truly assess, then employ what it takes to become more organized? It may mean hiring someone to help you. Fighting against yourself and refusing to accept yourself will certainly not help you. Accepting oneself does not mean taking an immovable stance toward growth or self-improvement either. It encourages you to have peace in the present as you are, so you can more easily assess where you'd like to go, what it will require, and then take the necessary action to get there. If you are in denial about your own strengths and weaknesses, or likes and dislikes, how can you maximize your ability to build a life full of happiness?

Accepting yourself applies not only to whom you are and what you may possess, but also to those interests and desires not yet realized. When you set goals from a peaceful place, you have even more power to manifest them. For example, let's say you have a goal of attracting a wonderful romantic partner. Being aware of who you are will greatly help in determining what kind of partner will satisfy you. Your likes and dislikes are a vital part of choosing a good match. If you have preferences you feel guilty or uncomfortable about, you will more than likely pass them over instead of fulfilling them, consequently achieving less than optimum results.

By accepting yourself you make peace with what makes you feel whole and give yourself permission to make it a part of your life. When you accept yourself for who you are, you also give yourself a sense of peace in regards to the results you've achieved thus far, enhancing your present.

life learning Life is a learning curve, which means when we fall, we get up and hopefully figure out what caused us to fall so we can fall less. Acceptance enables you to admit you've fallen and paves the way for forward movement. Over the years I've been challenged to revisit my own beliefs on many things and have learned not to attach myself to any one position without the openness to rethink it.

With wisdom comes a new perspective and deeper understanding of the situation, which eliminates residual anger as well as the need to blame. Self-acceptance allows you to examine your actions, motives and shortcomings without condemning yourself.

When you are at peace, there is nothing you need from others--they simply add to what you already possess. This makes you much more discriminating about who you invite to be close to you. You inevitably choose people who support your wellbeing and are aligned with your goals. The more choices you make to support your joy and fulfillment, the greater sense of love and appreciation you'll experience.

Self-love and inner peace allow you to assess intentions and process things unselfishly, hence more objectively. In the process you receive more, rather than being left feeling devoid of something. For example if you've suffered the loss of a friendship or endured a divorce, you've probably felt hurt and angry. Self-love directs you to review your actions, re-examine the events which took place, and assess how they compare to your desired results. Accepting your role within the interaction frees you up to extract the valuable information that will help you move in a positive direction. It releases you from anger and the need to find blame.

On this Valentine's Day if you found your gift or experience to be inconsequential or unsatisfactory, the person you need to be examining may be you. Expectations of another person's performance in order to prove his or her love--and your value or worth--may be a reflection of your own lack of self-love.

Thrive in all your relationships by maximizing the one you have with you. You can take action to do just that in a private session. Email me at Charly_organic@yahoo.com to schedule one today.

Best wishes,

Charly

ARCHIVED CHARLY ARTICLES:

> LIFE COACHING
> ATTRACTING OPTIMUM ENERGY
> HOW TO MANIFEST WHAT YOU DREAM OF...TODAY!
> FINDING THE HIDDEN TREASURE WITHIN YOUR DESIRES
> CREATING A SPACE FOR YOUR DESIRES TO MANIFEST
> PERSPECTIVE: POSITIVE, NEGATIVE AND BEING REALISTIC
> THE MAGIC OF POSSIBILITIES
> THE POWER OF CHOICE
> THE POWER OF RELATIONSHIP
> CLEANSING FOR CLARITY
> THE VALUE OF ASKING
> SHAKING THINGS UP FOR BETTER BALANCE
> THE VASTNESS OF VISUALIZATION
> WHO'S YOUR BEST BUDDY?
> FEAR: FRIEND OR FOE?
> COMPLAINING VS. APPRECIATING
> THE ART OF LETTING GO WHILE MAXIMIZING PRODUCTIVITY
> THE INTELLECTUAL AND EMOTIONAL CONNECTION TO TRANSFORMATION
> UNDERSTANDING POWER AND HOW TO HARNESS YOUR OWN
> THE GOLD BEHIND YOUR GOALS
> THE THREAT OF REGRET
> SET YOURSELF UP FOR A WINNING RELATIONSHIP
> TIME OUT FOR THANKS GIVING
> RESISTING THE ROADBLOCKS TO YOUR SUCCESS
> WHAT'S THE HOLD UP?


Copyright © 2017, Charly Emery. This article is available for export only by permission. Email Charly Emery, www.charlyemery.com.
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